How many weeks pregnant when I gave birth? 

42 weeks, or 10 moon cycles almost exactly

Was it non-medicated?

There were no pharmaceutical drugs used during my labor. I did however take…Rescue Remedy (A flower essence) and homeopathy remedies Chamomilla, Gelsemium, and Sepia.

How long was the whole process?

About 42 hours from my waters releasing

What helped vs what didn’t in labor? 

Hm what helped? Being naked and unrestricted in my house. Initially music was supportive. The Birth Sling was helpful in the beginning.  Later, my husband putting pressure on my hips did help a little bit. An electric heated pad felt really good. A two inch thick camping pad SAVED my knees (and they still felt bruised!) 

What didn’t work?

The tens unit- didn’t touch my pain

The birth weapon (spiky wooden balls) 

The idea of listening to a meditation of someone else's voice, felt SO unappealing. 

Did you have a midwife?

I did not have a licensed medical attendant/midwife present at my house. I did facetime with two of my friends and colleagues who are traditional midwives at different times during my labor. 

How were you feeling during the pushing stage?

 Oh I felt amazing compared to the rest of it. Rather than me consciously pushing, it almost felt like when a large poop is coming and you kind of bear down with it. This happened during the contractions of course. I was so pumped and focused because I was ready to be done with the process. I find this interesting. I was not really thinking about the status of my baby at this point, rather I just wanted him to come out. I was also thinking of the burning and stinging sensation of my vagina tearing.

Did you know what stages of labor you were in?

Not consciously. I was confident I was dilating and making progress, because I had some drops of blood at a certain point (apart from the clots). Throughout the process, I did check with my fingers, but I wasn’t determining a “dilation”. I could feel through my open cervix my baby’s head far up in my vagina until about 40 hrs in.

I did know of course the point of “transition” as I felt the baby engage in my pelvis and I began to feel the sensation of pressure and bearing down with contractions. 

What would I change if I were to give birth again/next time? 

I was trying positions that weren’t precise to helping my baby engage in my pelvis. My friend Lauren, a traditional midwife, sent me the Spinning Babies PDFs that show pictures of positions relating to specific levels in the pelvis. I would try these targeted positions sooner next time if I felt the baby wasn’t engaging in my pelvis. 

 I did not prepare for any type of professional birth support. As a birthworker myself, I genuinely did not think I would need to talk to anyone.  I was blessed that my two traditional midwife friends happened to be available for me when I had questions. Next time, I would communicate beforehand and have a support system set in place- even if that is virtually. I did not crave a woman's touch or presence during my birth, and only wanted my husband. 

What were some things that happened that you were not expecting? 

I did not expect the intensity and sharpness of the pain to last so long. I didn't expect my husband to be as emotional as he was, but I understand now given the immense pressure and length. 

How did you deal with the placenta?

I pushed the placenta out 40 min after the birth during a contraction. We did what is called a Lotus Birth, meaning we did not cut or clamp the cord off. The baby stayed connected to the placenta/cord until it fell off after 5 days. We preserved the placenta in a bowl with salt and an herbal flower blend by Soothe and Restore Co. This experience was love/hate. It was challenging as the cord dried to move the baby WITH the bowl every time for diaper changes etc. I loved how fresh and beautiful the herbs smelled and how it made passing the baby around much more slow and intentional. When anyone talked about severing the cord (seriously or even joking) I got a really strong protective feeling rushing over me like a mama bear! I found this interesting.  

How close or far was my experience from what I expected?

Honestly, my experience was not what I expected! I did not anticipate it being as long as it was. I did not imagine myself getting to a point that I was fully convinced to go to the hospital for pain relief and mental protection. So in many ways it was far from what I expected, but in many ways went almost exactly how I “planned” ultimately.